Thursday 28 March: Black. Fooking black. It's fooking everywhere!

09:00
1930 First Byzantium, then Constantinople, Turkish capital Istanbul renamed on this day

Constantly changing, Constantinople in 1870

10:10
Only 1 in 50 parrots taken from the wild survives to live in a private home. 
11:57
There's a big black suitcase abandoned in the alley across the way there, now the official magnet for all the unofficial junk in Dirty Dublin. Hauliers drive-by unload their crap into the conveniently skip in a constant stream of doorstepped detrius. Officially, I'm afraid to think what's in it.
12:34
Just been out on the streets with the man with the van from the sanitation department taking up 20 sacks of rubbish off the corner so I'm officially an activist. All yer principles are shite if you can't do something with them.
12:55
See, here's what I don't get:

Justice Minister Michael McDowell tonight declared war on graffiti. The pilot project has been initiated by the departments of Justice, Environment and Community, Rural and Gaeltacht Affairs.

- Burt. What do we suppose these author-itays are doing with themselves, and eh, how does it all hook up?:

Primary responsibility for cleaning up graffiti rests with Local Authorities under the Litter Pollution Act, 1997 but this project will run in addition to ongoing existing programmes being carried out by councils.

13:54
Hah! Up you get, McDog, I'll hold the ladder:
JOEREALLYNOW: Don't go into details.
CALLER 1: Oh the language was scurrilous. I feel sorry for Bridie there. Her name was sprayed on all the road signs on the N17 the whole way from Claremorris to Galway and on the sides of houses there. In black spray paint. And it's a busy road. He must have had a lot of the stuff. The things he was saying! It takes graffiti to a new low.
14:10
On the rise, yet the fist of Justice grabs the menace by the cannister. Whilst:

Green Party T.D. John Gormalley [sic] has called for sweeping measures to stop the 'serious problem' of graffiti. Namely;
- The introduction of specific legislation to deal with the offence of graffiti/street art
- The establishment of a Special Garda Graffiti Unit to target artists
- Rewards to be offered for tip-offs on 'Taggers'
- Community service orders
- A Graffiti Hotline
- Revoking the driving licences of graffiti artists
- Banning the sale of spray paint to minors as well as banning the possession of spray paint in public place.

Sherlock McDog has the answer at his fingertips:

'Somebody, on doing a little research, should be able to track down where the major sales of spray paint are taking place and to whom it is being sold.'

14:23
JOEIMEANREALLYNOW: An outrageous attack. The Gardai have issued a statement saying they have been ringing local hardware dealers to see if anyone sold a load of black spray paint in the region.
Blaney's Hardware?
- You fooking selling cans of paint, are ye?
Excuse me?
- You fooking selling cans of spray paint! Who did ye sell it te?
Spray paint, yes? Please hold. "Hello, you're looking for some paint?"
- This is Detective Inspector Flaherty from the Special Garda Graffiti Corps in Claremorris. You selling fooking spray paint, aren't ye? Aren't ye? Who tcha fooking sell it te? Tell me. Tell me!
""What colour were you looking for?"
- Black. Fooking black. It's fooking everywhere!
"Sorry, we're sold out."
14:56
The garbage guy didn't want to take the suitcase either. For obvious reasons. I better call the coroner I think. Just in (suit)case.
14:58
Ya right there young fella! (Jaysis they are something else.) 

Crapmagnet