1912 Captain Scott and party expire in Antarctica while returning from South Pole
Most books average 5 letters per word, 10 words per line, and 40 lines per page.
10:23
Bunch of gurriers on the southside picking on rich cars. Choosing Rollers and Chryslers and Beamers to slash the tyres of. Posh bits deign to ring the commoners’ radio to issue veiled threats against poor people. Thank Gawd Pat Posh is here to take the call.
10:36
Someone greeny on saying "reality hits" in relation to global warming, when nobody knows really what the reality is, or what's hitting them.
10:56
Dr. PAT: Should it not be obligatory to report cases of MRSA? The porter is telling patients on their way in that their relative has the bug.
HSE-er: No there is no requirement. It's not such a big deal that everyone says it is.
11:01
Bus crashed in Crumlin today, busting in a garden wall, after the tea breaks, two seperate investigations come along at once.
11:21
TXT: People don't bother to wipe their arse in hospitals, spreading infection, because the paper is so thin and hard.
11:32
PAT PUNTER: You're a female bookmaker? Am-aaazing!
- Ah, it wouldn't be a big deal anymore Pat. There's loads of us.
11:59
The hatchet man on the mixing desk got Pat's jingles mixed up and nearly started the show all over again. Pause for thought. Angelus. (Best part of the day.)
12:40
Mustard gas. Keeps us pinned in our trenches. Gas masks on, look like an Easter egg. Let's rumble. A fierce bit of sport awaits. Gun, grenade, that's all you need.
13:26
JOURNO: Sorry Seamus?
SEAMUS: Sorry, Jims, I was distracted there, slightly.
13:59
CALL: THIS IS AN ABSOULTE DISGRACE! THAT WE HAVE TO JUSTIFY OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM NOT BEING USED AT A RUGBY GAME! I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A REFERENDUM ON IT! I WILL NOT STAND FOR 'IRELAND'S CALL' AS A NATIONAL ANTHEM!
14:01
CALLER: They call it Ireland's 'alternative national anthem' in schools. Now, people have DIED for the right to have our anthem played on foreign fields. The rugby team is from IRELAND. Internationally recognised country of IRELAND.
JR: The taxpayers of da Republic are paying for Landsdowne road. The IRFU rugby union are getting the money, they should sing the song?
CALLER: Boxing is all-Ireland. We fly the tricolour. Sing the anthem. Unionist boxers carrying tricolours into the ring. No objections at all. They're proud. The Irish rugby team play a lullaby when they go out to play. Salute a pink and white flag? No pride. Even our ol' enemies in England get up to sing their national anthem.
CALLER (female, originally): Owr-earn na venal is our national anthem. My dad was in tears. If you'r going to play for Ireland AT LEAST HAVE THE GUTS TO STAND UP WITH YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEARTS AND SING OW-RAWN NA VEEN-AL. HOW DARE THEY SAY IRELANDS CALL IS AN "ALTERNATIVE". MY DAD IS ONE OF THE Most committed - I'm getting emotional because I love him so much - he's just... the most... wonderful man.
JOERADIO: Fair play t'ya Fiona.
FIONA: I WON'T STAND UP WHEN I HEAR "IRELAND'S CALL"!
14:34
CALL: The Argies are bawling their eyes out before a game, with their national anthems, bursting into tears and then tearing into the French. Big grown men! Passion.
JOERADIO: Owrawn na veenal is militaristic.
CALL: It's not supposed to be a lullaby. It's all wrong, Joe.
15:20
ADIO: Ireland's largest drinks superstore now open, we're proud to announce. Grab a pizza while your at it. And some insurance.
Captain Scott's Last Letter
