New year's reso kicking in late. Up at seven. Diggers delivered to next door did it. Bigger ones. Better ones.
08:51
Lending conditions and terms and cry tears, yeah? Apply.
09:00
1993 Fifty-day Branch Davidian siege begins at Waco, Texas as nine die in botched federal bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) raid, ending in catastrophic fire, killing 76
The funeral of Alexander it is estimated would cost EUR600m today. A special road was built from Egypt to Babylon to carry his body.10:47
Damn all the internet is blind to me. I can't see out. It can't see in. The box on the wall in the hall is on the floor downstairs. Vandalised, unsurprisingly. Nothing is possible.
- I think being offline might be of some benefit for today, actually. Just me and the radio and my typewriter.
11:08
Property auctioneers are advertising their ethics. Now I'm seriously worried.
11:21
Bleedin' hearts are getting a hard time because of the bleeding heads in Dublin. Bring in Rudy Giuliani, they're saying. Send parents to do time with their kids. You need a dog for a license.
CALLER: 'How big is your anus, miss'? I quit my job as a teacher and went on the dole.
11:22
CALLER: Bring back zero tolerance!
11:23
ADIO: Your vehicle is going to lose grip. Danger. Get a new car with anti-slip technology.
11:24
In a TV entertainment show, a masked Irish 'celebrity' in a setup and at the end takes off his mask for the big reveal. Still don't recognise him. Who are you again?
11:31
ANTIFEMINISM ALERT:
- You shouldn't be wanting to be involved in politics unless you want to be patronised by moi.That was from a conversation between four Irish women. No man would want to wade into the middle of that.
- Women didn't want to run.
- "Hoary old feminists arguing for a gender balance."
- Right person for the job.
- Feminism is rubbish.
- They'd be no better than a man.
- You'd complain if there were no men in the Dail.
- We women should stop wanting to stay at home while our men work.
- Did anybody force those women to get undressed?
12:13
The radio station keep switching their presenters so that we don't know when Superpat isn't going to be on and mistakenly switch on the radio. The McDork is on about 'software' on the 'website' when he's booking flights to Cardiff or wherever rugby is played in the world.
12:16
Just ran into a cousin of mine in the train station. She's working in a posh jewellers. Has a bunch of tricks to clean lads out of it, she explains, when they comes in for rings. The GF on his arm, looking at a giant ring, going "Oh, this is the ring I've always dreamed of." And she's saying, "It looks great on you." The fellas are there with blood draining from their faces.
12:37
Moneytheism:
Taoiseach Bertie Ahern has praised organised religion for being a powerful means of making immigrants feel at home in Ireland.12:44
One bag of cash doesn't make a politician corruptible:
The Taoiseach has dismissed media reports which he claimed suggested that all teenagers were addicted to drink or drugs. Bertie Ahern told the Dail that just because a 14-year-old tried one cigarette or one drink, it did not make them an alcoholic or a smoker.
13:02
The guy in charge says he hasn't enough staff to investigate corporate corruption. The head of the government told him he wasn't getting any more.
13:05
TEETOTALLERSHOCK: "Just because one 14 yar old tries a fag or a drink doesn't mean antin. Dey're just experimentin'. What they are is the second most active teens in the world. Focus on dah."
13:42
'We wuz scufflin' in the haaa' = Asian-Dubliners describing how the fought off the dirtbirds who broke into his house and tried to rob him.
13:43
Slight arkward air of about the last item on the news today. Of course, everyone is talking about it so we better mention that Pat is the highest paid person in RTE-land. He get's one gazillion per. We all agree, as appropriate. However, Turboshite is 4th? And Bloony is a lightweight 7th? While Charlie hard working Bird is tenth? What's up with life? Joe is a hearty sixth.
- Thanks for that news. Moving swiftly along.
14:16
Breaking News:
Minister pledges Metro to Dublin airport by 2012Talk is cheap but digging tunnels isn't. Projects need to be managed, not released like wild animals from a cage.
14:18
CALLERS: Bring back hanging! We need the army patrolling the streets. I have to leave the country society is gone so bad.
14:26
CALLER: Judiciary need to get their head out of their arse, Joe. It's like mercury exploding on the table, when someone gets killed it touches everybody. Judges need to say 'enough is enough'. Nobody feels safe anymore. They broke every bone in his body when they beat him.
JOE: The Taoiseach says it's an isolated incident.
CALLER: Every day of the week. At night time.
14:30
CALLER: She was holding him when he died. He was beaten to death with a pick axe. Not a handle. A pick axe. I don't want to say any more than that because his mother might be listening.
JOE: Those two Polish men with the screwdriver driven into his heads. The Taoiseach says this is isolated.
CALLER: Like bank accounts are isolated?
JOE: [I made half a million from this misery last year. Keep talking. Keep it coming. More crime. More cancer. More wedding horrors. Bring it. Bring iiiit!] Thanks for that insight.
CALLER: Young people have no loyalty to their country their family or their friends anymore.
14:36
So many damn attacks reported on the news are in north Dublin. Ransacking the old ladies handbags and shit.
14:45
CALLER: I believe life in prison should mean life in prison. The only person who has a right to take life is God.
CALLER: That person should be put down.
CALLER: Incredible? It's unbelievable.
14:53
Joe's proven the teeshock wrong. Attacks on law abiding citizens come by the dozen. That's why he gets the big bucks. But you don't understand. What Bertie said is, that attacks like on the Poles are rare. He didn't say attacks on Irish are rare.
14:54
CALLER: Caught up in a raid. Had a gun put to me head, you know? Two doctors say I have post traumatic stress. I've just got a letter saying my employment is terminated. The union have done nothing for me.
14:58
CALLER: I think people should walk around and put these kids off being in gangs. I'm not talking vigilantes now but ...
15:00
Bloony is giving 10000 euro away on his show. PROBLEM: We have to listen to it to win. Shit, I don't want to be the only one who listens.
15:38
LEAVE BERTIE ALONE! He meant 'isolated' like it wasn't always done every day for a couple of Polish workers on a street in Dublin to get stabbed in the head with a screwdriver by a kid. He didn't say there was no crime in Ireland. That's a distortion. He didn't say nothing ever happened. He just was referring to the fact a double screwdriver murder by a lobotomising teen in Dublin was statistically rare. He didn't mention Limerick! Leave him alone! You're just trying to make money out of him! LEAVE HIM A LOOOH-HOHOHOOOOOANE!
15:47
Sly Stallone busted Down Under for human growth hormone. Injecting it into his face. Babies from the Coombe donating their pancreasses to get him bulging. In Australia it's some kind of crime.
15:57
That hammer hitting that wall makes a thund'rous sound. The entire street is of a shudder. Let's get out of here.
16:13
Whips and chains out. Snow is coming down. Freezers will build their asses off.
17:37
ASBOs come into play legally tomorrow. Should be called DUBSOs.
18:01
Medical professional whipped out 180+ wombs. I'm calling on the Health Minister to flay the man alive for forced sterilisation.
