1925 BORN: Paul Newman, actor, director, saucier, philantropist, Cool Hand Luke
Every blue-eyed person on Earth descended from a single common ancestor with a genetic mutation who lived 6,00-10,000 years ago.
11:15
FARMER OUT STANDING IN HIS FIELD: "I don't trust the civil servants, lying to us for the past 30 years and dumping untreated sewage in my farm at the expense of the people who live in this area."
12:15
Dev claimed 'I only had to examine my own heart and it told me what the Irish people wanted.'
12:16
A bit like Bertie. 'Jobs'.
12:21
The report has called for a Dail inquiry into the CIA's alleged use of Irish territory for rendition flights.12:24
Pity yew tewibe doesn't do helplines:
A helpline that offers support to troubled teenagers says it is struggling to cope with the massive demand for its services.12:44
Assaults causing harm were also up 20% while drug dealing and trafficking were up 13%.14:27
CALLER: Joe, he caught me then after punching me son in the face and he lying on a trolley on de oxygen mask for his asthma attack.
JOE: Whatcha mean he caught ya?
CALLER: Punched me, laike.
JOE: You went in to Accident and Emergency alright, and came out a casualty?
CALLER: That's right Joe. And they sent me a bill for 55 euro after for treatment.
14:29
Why software projects fail:
Often, key activities are overlooked or minimized14:43
I work for the government, Joe. Grieved. 98% of people in this office work hard. I think it's the system.
14:54
Liveleak video of an Egyptian torture victim on a mobile phone video taken by his attackers. He is in Egyptian police custody. They're sodomising him with a wooden broom handle and taping it on his mobile for him. His face!
In a report out today, a European Parliament committee investigating the so-called "torture flights" says thousands have crossed through EU airspace and landed at EU airports in recent years. Ireland is named as one of the worst offenders.15:04
Can scarcely credit the regime:
It says Ireland breached its own human rights obligations by simply accepting the Bush administration's assurances that no terrorism suspects were on board any flights which landed in Ireland.15:08
They'd prefer us to believe this here bunkum:
The Government has published the new National Development Plan. It includes a commitment to invest EUR21 billion in social and affordable housing over the next seven years.15:15
The empanelled radio wimmin are going on about a handbag. How much does the production of surplus bags for sad women contribute to Global Warming?
19:34
On my doormat the following, as I accost my mouse-brown neighbour Johnno, to communicate the general dismay at the noises coming from his apartment, next door to mine. These guys have been living/drinking in there for the past few weeks. The pattern of disruption is built up to boiling point, with phone calls between the other residents of the block, email and conferences. I'm standing inside my own hall door:
"Aaarioigh I swear on me daw-ters loife there won't be any noise after tonigh'!"
I tell him I've heard it before and the neighbours, not me, are freaking out. He's holding a cigarette butt that burned out and with exaggerated respectfulness he's holding it vertically up so the stub of ashes don't spill. There's like, a half-inch of ash on the butt of a JP Blue.
We're chatting away and I'm making the eyebrows-of-serious. It looks like we're making progress in understanding how the world is expected to work (quietly) when the lobby door swings open.
Travis charges in to the now crammed lobby between our respective flats, just about a square metre in size. Squaring up to Johnno, Travis adopts an aggressive stance and without preamble, or rather, beyond preamble, all of a sudden, you couldn't get a cigarette paper between their forehheads. Travis points sharply at Johnno although he doesn't touch him. They're both titchy Dubs of about the same height. Travis is just about to head-butt him.
"I'm telling you, roight. I've had a bleedin' nuff of this! It's a bleedin' commotion the whole toime!" He's pulsing with anger. Johnno is somewhat taken aback by this unknown interlocuter. Travis shifts his hip and drops his big set-piece, a mite early if you ask me. He has left sinister hints in every conversation we've ever had which leads me to half-expect his growling threat.
"I'll get every crim-inal in Dublin down here now to shut you up!", menaces Travis.
Johnno, admirably I feel, is not totally phased. He's a wiry street-tough. Me ol' ruffian reflects right back at Travis, equally indignant and inflamed.
- "Here, who are YOU? Tretenin' ME?"
His feet hold their ground, Travis responds. "I'm not bleedin' tretenin' ye. I know people, roigh?"
Johnno is unimpressed and stands right back up. The gap between their foreheads never grows or shrinks.
"Yeah I know people too, yeah? I know ev'ry criminal in Dublin. I've got people." he says, with a hint of pride in his voice.
"Look, I'm just saying," Travis argues, "You're making a bleedin' racket the whole fucking to-ime." Travis' eyes are bugging. He hasn't thought this intervention through. He's had to credit the response in kind. Eyeball to eyeball, their short and sharp breaths sound in the box lobby. Without the regular application of lubricant to my robot eyes there would be squeaking sounds as they roll in my head.
Not so much a Russian standoff, it's a Dublin shoutoff. This wouldn't happen down the taciturn country. They'd just kill each other now, silent and deadly. Nobody is making a move. My main concern is that if it does kick off they'll roll into my hall to duke it out where the light is better.
Right now, in the match commentary in my head, they're even on points even though Travis came in hard, Johnno has picked it up and countered. If any man was blinking there'd be butterfly kisses all around.
Johnno says, "I don't even know who you are. And you come in her tretenin me?" (It's hands in the air time. Johnno is still holding the butt in the air in front of him. It amounts to a peace overture, rejected.)
"I live across there. You don't know who I am." Travis says menacingly. Johnno's turn to be indignant.
"YOU don't know who I am." he says, sensing that his reputation has been impugned by being unheard of.
"NO!" Travis is adamant. "YOU don't KNOW who I am."
- (Johnno is also adamant) "And YOU-DON'T-KNOW who I AM."
"LOOK! I'm tellin' ya," said Travis again, with escalating emphasis, "You. DON'T know. WHO-I-AM!"
- "Alrigh'" admits Johnno, "Alrigh'. NOBODY knows who ANYONE is."
I find the moment ripe to intervene before I break into laughter. "Now lads, I think the whole thing is, Johnno, the neighbours are upset. The Gardai are around every second night."
TRAVIS: I'm not going to put up with this.
JOHNNO: You're like me, you like the gargle. All you have to do is knock and I'll turn it down. No need to come in here all gargled, tretenin' me.
TRAVIS: I won't be intimidated.
JOHNNO: I'm NOH intimidatin' anyone. You're the one intimidating me!
ME: John, that's what I'm telling you. The neighbours are feeling intimidated. There's fighting in the stairs and the fire alarm ...
JOHNNO: Alrigh. I'm sorry about that. That was ... we dealt with that. Let's just say that was dealt with. It won't happen again.
ME: The police around every Friday night ...
JOHNNO: I understand. Even though we're not up to anythin' all they see is policemen running up the stairs ...
Johnno shuffles his feet and turns to Travis, who's quietly flummoxed. His feet turn towards me. The temperature is going down. Johnno defuses the frustration. "Here, alright bood. I'll take care of it."
TRAVIS: Alright. (Shakes) There's be no criminals, right? (Exiting) Just keep it down.
JOHNNO: After tonight, you'll never hear from us again.
Travis decommissions. The lobby door shuts. I wink at Johnno. We chuckle.
I'll be sad to see the little bollox go, him and his dirty Dubs, at the threshold, slugging it out in their wars of nefarious acquaintance. Not.
20:24
CALL: (Me to Travis, who's bolted inside his keep) If they come for you, give me a shout.
TRAVIS: If they come near me, oill obliterate them.
