There's a hole worn in me mouse buttons clicking on the hot and not so hot babes.
09:00
1943 WWII, Hitler launches Operation Citadel: Largest tank and air battle in history as six-week Battle of Kursk between Germans and Soviets commences
 |
| Tanks for nothing, 1943 |
Golden Rules for Living:
If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you unlock it, lock it up.
If you break it, admit it.
If you can't fix it, call in someone who can.
If you borrow it, return it.
If you value it, take care of it.
If you make a mess clean it up.
If you move it, put it back.
If it belongs to someone else and you want to use, get permission.
If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.
If it's none of your business, don't ask questions.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If it will brighten someone's day, say it.
If it will tarnish someone's reputation, keep it to yourself.
By Source Unknown
To which, to add, "If you're not happy, kill yourself."
Be Bertie, de Leader of Ireland.
10:01
The Teeshock issued a statement calling all the journalists on big expense accounts (he should know) to commit suicide and the Gardai don't know what to do with themselves as it's raining bales of cocaine.
10:23
I don't understand this business about the 'rapidly ageing population'. Does not everybody age at the same rate?
12:11
The Dead Man Walking Upstairs Zoo:
12:06 Injuries reported after stairway collapses in Dublin's Natural History Museum15:27
ALERT! As Blooney rants on about mayonnaise, in the real Dublin, don't go in the water:
15:22 Lifeboats, helicopters rush to Dun Laoghaire pier after regatta boats carrying children overturn in poor weather15:29
I snuck a message in to the bloke on radio a minute ago, forwarding the breaking news text bulletins about soggy darlings I'm getting and they're obviously not. And we're talking about it . . . acha chaa . . . mmnnn-now. "Mmmm." he says. "We'll clarify the situation." He said he'd check into it on Sky News. Red buttons. Set-top box. Interactive radio.
15:33
PEELERS: Search them for coke as you haul them out, lads. This could be our lucky fookin' day!
15:36
Sign on door of hardware suppliers in Capel st, saying "For security reasons, gas cylinders will not be sold to Muslims."
16:02
Blooney craps on about the miserable life of a radio presenter. Meanwhile, the kids are safe although there were dozens of them in the water at one point. Give them a little something to talk about at dinner partays. No arrests are reported but it's about this time the Gardai hand over to the night shift so Pablo Escobar could be sailing a forty footer called "Medellin Snow Express" into the Royal Club House in Dun Laoghaire and they wouldn't catch him.
16:19
Plane down in Connemara. Flipped. Wings broken off. Bad weather. Boat story is knocked off. Apparently getting wet is part of sailing, yah?
16:26
We have a count of 211 rescued from the water. A plane with eight crashed in Connemara. Three crashes at the same time on the M50. The stairs fell in the Natural History Museum crushing eleven living human specimens beneath the Jericho steps. The winners have been announced in the private hospitals co-location with public hospitals bidding competition by the Ministry of Health. Day of disasters.
16:53
Two dead on the Connemara air crash. Not Alcock and Brown. Weather lethal in July. Turns out they was only teachers who fell in the Dead Zoo, Dubliners' nickname for the Natural History Museum. Educational specimens from the 20th Century. In-service training, they were on. Science appreciation. Comiing back from their much-deserved tea break. How do you like our gravity demo? Crashes up and down the country account for a dozen more. Nobody knows how many suicides there were today but they're really only whingers anyway, why would you count them?
16:58
Kid's own fault for getting in the water, says a texter. Blame their parents.
19:14
The guy from Britfuckingain’s Channel 4 news pulls off the neat trick of sounding posh without sounding like a snob. Loverly.
21:45
The country is gone nuts. Posh kids get drenched. Sheep are running around Cork at blistering speed and having great sex. Planes are falling out of the sky. Old ladies are throwing themselves in front of buses to go one under. To top it all, I'm minding me neighbour's cats while she's away! Now that's crazy.
23:53
I'm dead. Why have you killed me?
