Dekko's after gettin' picked up
"Luaser"? What's the stooo-ry?
Arrested be de bleedin' piiigs so he is.
Fuck's sake. Wharhappent?
He gorrin to a scrap wirra Gaard. One a dem fellas on boikes.
Did he? Bleedin' wha'? De bicycles loike?
Yeah, yeah. And de were baytin' de head off each udder. Den Luaser gorron top of 'im.
Good man yerself Dek. And den wharhappent?
So Dekko takes yer man's bike and throws it in de Liffy. And legs it.
[Laughs subside after a couple of minutes.]
So how'd de bleedin' piiigs catch up wirrim?
He took de Luas to escape.
Good man "Luaser".
But there was about eight cop cars. They followed de tram and arrested him over in Bluebell when he gorrout.
Bleedin' wha? What was he doin' scrapping wi' a Gaard anyways?
The Gaard was going to arrest him for antisocial behaviour. All he was doin' was drinking a few bohhles of Coors, y'know? He's up in court tomorrow.
Jaysis that's bleedin' gas, soirris. What a bleedin' amadawn, tho.
Omma-what?
Amadawn. Ye know, plike?
Ploike?
Ye know, bleedin' muppih?
Yeah, ha ha, bleedin' muppit.
[LATER]
DANNO to DARREN: D'ye see yer man Marko?
DARREN (tears in his eyes from laughter): Yeah, wharrabourim?
DANNO: Well I told him about Luaser before when I meh him at Macdonnals, yeah?
DARREN (still laughing, thinking about the story): Hee hee. Wharra bleedin' muppit. So?
DANNO: Did he ever strike you as, y'know, funny, y'know?
DARREN: Whatcha mean?
DANNO: I dunno. He called Luaser some funny name when I told him. Plommadawm or summ'hin.
DARREN: Plommawha?
DANNO: I don't know what he fucking said. It wasn't "prick". Some funny word anyway. Never heard it before. "Prat" or summin' stupid. I think it must mean muppet. Sounded a bit - strange.
DARREN: Ah he's just older. Probably picked up some strange words when he was in the country. He went to a bleedin' Irish school you know, when he was a kid, he was telling me befow-ure. Some place called "Connemarijuhana".
09:00
1948 BORN: James Ellroy, American crime fiction writer, LA Confidential
10:10
The deadly poison henbane makes its victims think they have turned into animals. The ancient Gauls tipped their spears with it.
13:36
If there's one thing that will destroy us it's green activists:
Climate science maverick James Lovelock believes catastrophe is inevitable, carbon offsetting is a joke and ethical living a scam.
['Enjoy life while you can']
13:37
If there's one thing that might save us, it's heretics.
