1895 First 'moving pictures' presented by Lumière Brothers at a café in Paris
10:10
The first fossils of Neanderthal man were discovered in the Neander Valley, Germany, in 1856. On average, they lived to about 20 years old.
15:33
Bastards:
Aer Lingus has announced that it will increase its checked baggage fee on short haul services from Thursday.A new fee of €12, up from €9, will apply to baggage bondaged online. Each staffie gets 10% of the vig. You want off this rock? Pay the vig.
16:09
Fly Air Swinglus low fares airline.
- Checking in today sir?
Yes.
- There will be a 40 euro charge for that privilege. Got a bag, sir?
Yes.
- Thirty euro.
I understand.
- Got any sharp implements, sir?
No.
- That's eight euro for flying blunt. Any keys?
Yes, of course.
- There's a seven euro fifty indemnity surcharge in case someone gets hurt by your keys.
But you just said I was flying blunt?
- If you want me to respond to that remark there is a handling fee of four euro?
No, thanks.
- Do you have a wallet?
Of course?
- If you want to check that in, it will be five euro?
This is ridiculous.
- Sir, it's company policy. Please read the terms and conditions on our website. Do you have any cash or credit and or debit cards you want to bring aboard?
No.
- Sir? How do you expect to go to Brussels Mittenowher Airport if you don't have money?
It was a joke. Of course I have money.
- Hmm. We normally call security in the case of a joke sir, take this as a friendly warning. Insurance for money is four-euro fifty. Air Swinglus is not liable for any loss or injury due to money.
Then what's the insurance for, exactly?
- It is to insure US against YOUR MONEY! Please, sir, other passengers are waiting and I may have to charge you for their time too.
I see. Carry on.
- Do you have a toothbrush?
I'm afraid to answer.
- I'll take that as a yes, for which there is a two euro fee. Which, together with a fuel surcharge, 9/ll charge, 10/11, 12/11, baggage underweight charge . . .
Wait a second, my bag isn't overweight! It's only 17 kilos.
- Sir, I said 'underweight'. Your allowance is 25 kilos. If you go over or under 25k per bag we MUST levy a charge.
I see.
- With baggage-handling, card-handling, cash-handling, handle-handling and handling charges, that comes to brrrrup - 216 euro 92 cent. How would you like to pay?
By credit card.
- Thank you sir, there's a credit card fee of six euro per transaction.
I already paid my transaction fee online.
- This is an airport desk transaction, it's separate sir.
What if I want to pay cash?
- I'm sorry sir, we don't accept your money without a ten-euro cash handling fee.
Cheque?
- Sorry sir. Sir, as you well know from reading our terms and conditions, if you have a chequebook I will have to charge you three euro to bring it on board the aircraft.
I was only asking. Here 230 euro in cash.
Thank you sir. And with a sellers commission paid by you of 12.5%, the actual total is 244 euro, 3 cent.
Thank god the ticket only cost me a fiver then.
- Indeed. Next!
