On the internet, there's this whole page devoted to this hefty and her singles trawl and she has loads of photos of her and Santa, too old and too young in turn, but Santa is standing behind her in his hat and beard smiling out of bloodshot eyes and quite clearly with his left hand is trying to sneakily fondle her flouncy breasts.
09:00
2000 DIED: Kirsty McColl (41), British singer/songwriter, in a boating accident, Mexcio, 'Fairytale of New York'
10:10
Trivia: There are more people living in Bangladesh (144.3m) than in Russia (143.4m), a country 118 times its size.
12:01
Ireland has fastest growing population in the EU. The fattest and drunkest too.
12:03
Immigrants in the "black" economy.
13:42
"Ferry honour-ayed to be da Hingland m-hanagear, I wanted this job to have a very long time."
13:43
A year in the coroners court - 16 dead from heroin. 26 cases before the coroner with coke in the blood. What is this white monster which assails us? "Death by Misadventure" it's called, officially.
15:30
A beautiful but bitterly cold day. The shadows like knife. Be watchful. An annual predator called "Santa" is on the prowl. Marketing genius by day, filthy burglar by night.
18:40
This fricking radio station is insisting on reminding us how miserable the eighties were when Irish men skulked off to Engerfuckingland for casual labour, building canals and such, all thanks to a startling kleptocracy that is still largely in power. There is a line from the eighties to here, right? It's called Our Thing. This Thing of Ours.
19:03
Doctor charged with larceny robbing dying victims.
19:26
Advertising pubs for Christmas. Interminable, over-scripted voice of a young woman doing "Sex and the City" with drink. "Drink and the City" or “Sex and the Drink”.
21:33
WARNING: If your child swallows a child's toy this Christmas, it will expand in the child's stomach making them large and walk funny.
22:14
The guy on the ad who says "get free phone calls on your mobile with Skype” doesn't sound like he is sure what he's talking about, he's just reading the words.
