08:53
The kids are on ice, cutting themselves new arseholes with their blades when they fall. The traffic moves like a glacier.
09:00
1975 UK No. 1: Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen, starting a 9 week run at the top, with a video promo widely considered to be the first pop music video
09:15
DJ promised one song and then decided to deliver another. That's not cool.
10:10
Cosmetic drug botox is so toxic, it is estimated that just 4kg of it could be used to kill every last person on Earth.
13:25
Twenty-two year-old Tallaghtban hoodjahadin picked up off the street in Dublin bearing an AK47 and ammo last night.
13:28
The newly appointed head of the police force has called out for help from the people of Dublin because they're fucked if they can sort it.
13:29
The national news organisation now have to issue an apology because their squawk-box embedded reporter trundled out that old line called "known to the gardai" and all the euphemism implies in connection with some poor shot-dead chap who it turns out the police death squad didn't have on their hit list at all. He was "well-liked" and all that implies. Lazy journos required to apologise for parroting dodgy sound-bites and calling it reporting.
13:36
Castle Manor Software - a Friends of Fianna Fail company in receipt of monies/dollars just before the United game at Old Trafford. Companies, persons and funds around the Taoiseach were intermeddled. Cash flowed in unexpected ('buggy') directions. 'Castle Manor Software' sounds like a strange miscarriage between a software company and a construction firm. What's next, Quarryvale Semiconductors? Golden Island Technology?
19:24
Huge swarm of jellyfish swirling around the Irish sea attacking fish-farms, suffocating salmon.
19:45
Why are there no jokes about Jonestown?
- Because the punch line is too long.
