Tuesday 23 April: "She's a sad old hoor but she's beautiful when she cries."

09:00
1014 Reign over as Vikings defeated in Ireland, although Irish troops' leader Brian Boru killed at Battle of Clontarf
 

Viking throwdown, Dublin. 1014

10:10
The most difficult tongue-twister in the English language is said to be "Sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick".
10:41
You're feeling sleeeeepy:

The Irish Times 10.37 Mahon 'follows precedent' and adjourns tribunal until after election

11:08
Jogging, some of them. To get into the scrap. 29 of 30 players.
TXT: Clean up our national game. Hang the offenders. Bring in the army. Collective punishment for thugs. Brats letting the county down.
TXT: Don't mind, it's a physical sport.
SPORTS DORK: Fine them 300k. That should clip their wings.
11:32
Your bloodline is Fianna Fail?
11:35
I'm self employed. There's no way I'll get to have a 10% payrise while working for 10% less. I nearly had my eye taken out by an election poster yesterday. Bleedin' politicians.
13:19
Traditional style of gobshite debates:
NOPPOSITION: I want the right to reply!

Appetite for Distruction, 1014

MINISTRON: You have the right to reply. I didn't interrupt. Sorry, sorry?
NOPPOSITION: I'm getting wound up you know right well. You're a fat fucking prick shut the fuck up. You're being nasty. We're not that bad. Your style is making me speak quickly and in a high voice.
MINISTRON: We have the best country in yourope.
NOPPOSITION: Stop interrupting me.
MINISTRON: Get off the stage you twerp!
13:23
Cowboy is doing a Bertie vernacular take on it using a culchie courtier charm, be sayin' things like 'they be running around the place mahkin' promisis'.
- There's so much money about we'll be able to afford anything we decide to spend the tax payers money on.
- The Contract is a con job. Listen ta me. Tell the people. Hah? Whah? Bejaysis.
13:46
CALLER 1: A batman comic. Healthwarning needed. Adult sexual content. My seven year old was reading it. Images very distressing. Woman stripped naked. Very large chest. Two large swastikas on her nipples, Joe.
JOE: On the shelf beside Postman Pat and Barney?
CALLER 1: Horrendous. Horrific. Murderous. Shocking. Hard core pornography. Very sick behaviour. I mean, the Joker? He's a misogynist.
13:56
CALLER 2: Sexual assault. Beaten. Accident. Fueled by this type of pornographic material. It's time we took a stand. Do you want that?
JOE: It's only a comic.
CALLER 1: Images. Very powerful. Take it off the shelves.
CALLER 2: It's an “adult comic”.
JOE (reading thought bubbles): "She's a sad old hoor but she's beautiful when she cries."
18:06
Live life. Love bread.